January and February were not quiet months.

Grant review for Health Care Unburdened took over January.   As the only patient on the review board, I was in a unique position to raise questions and concerns about grants. The CMA (Canadian Medical Association) will announce the winners in April and I will have more to say then.

February turned into a scramble to catch up on all the things that had slid into the background. Applying for more conferences, catching up on webinars and reading, and most importantly reconnecting with the others in my life filled my days.

As I started writing this I was waiting for results from my bronchoscopy. In the meantime I was contemplating what is a major milestone in my cancer journey. To some extent I have withdrawn to think about this on my own. I was expecting results on the 12th but a mixup in a changed appointment resulted in the oncologist not having the results to give us the information that we needed.

In the last of my fall commitments I travelled to Halifax for the CCRC (Canadian Cancer Research Conference.) Before I left though I had a meeting with my oncologist. This time I didn't get the expected "remarkably unremarkable" comment from him.

I don't recommend taking an exotic international trip two days after the 3 day novel contest ends.

This will be the fourth year I have written a novella in the 3 day contest. Each time it truly is an amazing experience. I started on Saturday morning with an idea, a character or two, and a rough plot (maybe), and then put my fingers to the keyboard. There is something about the boundaries and pressure of time that keep the fingers moving.

For years I have worn a hat, a wool Cowichan style in winter and a broad brimmed soft hat in summer. When I went to the first Cancer Connection mentor training workshop, folks commented on my red hat a lot. And it became a "thing." The first red toque was a microfleece picked up at a dollar store. Last Christmas I set out to knit a wool version with the idea of doing a few to share with my boys. It was an unmitigated disaster. You can not learn to knit from YouTube. Or at least I can't.

I've had a few things going on and writing has gone by the way side for a few months. It was a bit of a surprise when the solstice rolled by and I suddenly found myself facing Canada Day. I have kind of an easy month ahead of me. The first thing I thought I would do is catch every body up on my travels and advocacy.

If there is one thing cancer is, it is complex. Understanding that complexity feels like the hockey player who won't change their socks. They are winning  and are afraid that changing anything might upset the delicate balance.

My practice in making New Years resolutions is not to make them. But over the last few years I have chosen a word to act as a theme for my year. For example "Adventure" was the word for the beginning of the pandemic and the lockdown.

But more importantly my word this year is Courage. And so I have been looking at my life and trying to take the bold steps that will allow my life to feel more fully lived.