Sometimes in this dark world we get good news.
Earlier yesterday morning I sent this note to my cousin:
"Even this morning I'm trying not to let things get into my head. I get the results from a head CT scan and it could be devastating. (one reason to respond now and not later - I may be a wreck) On top of that my liver enzymes are out of whack and that could mean that I'm at a point where I'll have to discontinue this drug. And this is the moment of truth for whether the drug is working at all. That is to say, are the tumours holding, growing or best case shrinking?"
And then I went to see my oncologist. The doctor took me in early. As the nurses said "She always runs on time." After introducing herself she said, "I'm sure you are wondering what the CT scan showed. Your head is clear. And the tumours are shrinking. Some have even disappeared." You try hard not to let it get to you but there was a fist pump and tears flowing. It was about the best I could have hoped for. The disease isn't gone. In my case it never will. But I have a reprieve.
My son was over from his tasking on Vancouver Island on the weekend. A timely distraction. We finished the Aggasiz Mountain hike to Campbell Lake. The lake turned out to be a beautiful jewel set high on the mountain. Imagine my delight at realizing that it was stocked with trout. A good size range swam by as we sat cooling off. At about fifteen minutes from the end of the trail there was a spectacular view of Harrison Lake. So the trail was 875 m up (3000 ft) and 8 km (5 miles) in and out. Evan and I did it in five hours. The lovely visit was too short but we are going to try to connect again for some of his annual leave at the end of August - beginning of September.
That according to the doctor could easily explain the elevated liver numbers. In any case we will check them again in two weeks and I promised not to run a marathon before the test this time.
My eloquence has translated into being asked to be a community mentor on the site that I have mentioned to many of you. (https://cancerconnections.ca) I'm finding it a bit of a switch from giving freely of what I have learned to feeling some obligation. Curbing my sarcasm is another issue. But discovering that I'm one of the most well-liked contributors on the site was a surprise. I do know that i have received a lot of help from a variety of members.
This past week I was also asked consider being part of a national campaign sponsored in part by Lung Cancer Canada. The campaign is designed to remove the "smokers" stigma from the disease. Early detection and better treatments are required for lung cancer. While accounting for many cancer deaths, lung cancer research receives a fraction of the support that other cancers do in part due to this stigma.
I have just signed up for my renewal of my Occupational First Aid certificate. This was a big decision as many of you know. But with the optimistic projection from my oncologist and a first aid event that required Del and I to put our skills to use under the watchful eyes of a bunch of firefighters, I realized I wanted to be able to keep practising first aid.
Psalms this morning talked about how David exulted in his miraculous escapes from the enemies pursuing him. Captured my feelings well:
Psalm 18 The Message (MSG)
A David Song, Which He Sang to God After Being Saved from All His Enemies and from Saul
1-2 I love you, God—
you make me strong.
God is bedrock under my feet,
the castle in which I live,
my rescuing knight.
My God—the high crag
where I run for dear life,
hiding behind the boulders,
safe in the granite hideout.
3 I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,
and find myself safe and saved.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful prayers.